Baghban

I was playing football earleir in the evening and took a shot in the crown jewels. My eyes started to get a little moist and my life flashed past my eyes. Luckily the damage was temporary but I was in a sombre mood, so to match my mood I decided to watch Baghban. I recall watching this when it came out and thinking that it was pretty damn good, but would it stand up to the test of a second viewing? Baghban is the story of devoted father Amitabh and his adoring wife Hema Malini and their 4 sons. Amitabh and Hema, both very much in love, raise their children the right way, instilling the values of family, togetherness etc etc etc.

When Amitabh decides to retire from his bank job, he imagines a life of leisure being supported by his sons and their wives and seeing out his last days in comfort with his beloved wife. But there comes the twist - when the kids find out their old man is skint (having taken out a loan to pay for his son's car) they want nothing to do with him. They hatch a plan where they would separate their parents, knowing neither could live without the other and hoping their parents would ditch the plan to live with them. But Hema persuades Amitabh to accept the proposal and what follows a touching story of how the two parents are treated badly by the very kids they brought up so lovingly. As the two to struggle to cope with life apart, Amitabh makes friends with Paresh Rawal and Lilette Dubey, the owners of a nearby cafe. After hearing stories from Amitabh, the couple encourage him to write his experiences down and create a book.

At the end of the 6 months the two parents get set to move on to the remaining two son's homes, but before they set off the two old age lovers plan to meet each other for their anniversary. After a reunion they encounter their adopted son played by Salman Khan who takes care of them and begs them to stay with him and his soon to be wife Mahima. The two decline the invite but instead decide to move back to their previous home. Soon after Amitabh's heartfelt book is published and becomes a success making him a wealthy man in the process. The kids find out of their fathers achievement and try to make up with their parents.

The film is one of those rare family dramas that actually works, their are no violent action scenes and no item numbers, it's good old fashioned family friendly viewing. The best bit about the film is the non typical ending which was a nice change. Amitabh is brilliant as is Hema Malini. The kids are all obnoxious and Paresh Rawal and Lilette Dubey play their parts well. Also watch out for Rimi Sen making an appearance as a teenager!

An entertaining story with great performances from the lead. Definitely worth a watch.

3.5 out of 5

Jab We Met

Some people hinted that my last review was a bit wrong in the sense that I gave too much away! Sorry about that! My bad, as the kids would say!

For my next installment (I promise to do this a little differently! we have Jab We Met. Firstly, I'd like to comment on the name. It's rubbish. Simple as that really, it's not cool, it's not innovative, it's just a lazy mixture of English and Hindi which has no bearing to the film, especially as large chunks of it are set in the Punjab!

The film is a typical Bollywood love affair starring Kareena Crapoor and the wonderful Shahid Kapoor. You may have noticed the intentional spelling mistake which pretty much comes from my hatred for her. I think she is a terrible actress and quite frankly the name of her character in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, pretty much sums her up - Poo! My feelings for Shahid Kapoor are much the opposite, he's such a nice boy, well mannered and softly spoken. Plus I was a huge fan of the family friendly hit of 2006 - Vivah. I'm glad he broke up with Kareena, he could do a lot better!

Moving on to the film, it starts off with Aditya (Shahid) walking off in a daze, he eventually finds himself at the train station and decides to board the train at the platform. Here he encounters Geet (Kareena) an annoying, loud mouth (nothing new here!) sikh girl on her way to say goodbye to her parents before she runs off with her boyfriend Anshuman. Geet blabbers away at Aditya who does his best to ignore her, even contemplating suicide at one point (we feel for you man, you had to live with that monster!). Obviously he doesn't go through with the suicide - otherwise it would be a bit of a short film! But instead he gets off at the next stop, worried Geet follows him and in doing so she misses her train. Geet makes Aditya take her back to her home in Bhatinda where he ends up staying as a guest and does all the usual Bollywood family eating, singing, dancing shenanigans that we've seen a hundred times. Meanwhile Geet's elders decide they want to get married to a sikh guy but she has a boyfriend so she and Aditya escape in to the night and head for Malina (I think it was) where Geet's boyfriend Anshuman lives. Once in Malina, the two part company. If the film ended here, I would have been fairly happy as it was pretty amusing and the light hearted moments made this portion entertaining. The crazy thing was, I actually found Kareena to be pretty good here and for once her obnoxious, irritating persona fit that of her character Geet perfectly.

Unfortunately it didn't end there so I will rattle off the rest of the story to you as quick as possible because the less I remember about it the better! So after the two part ways, Aditya returns home and decides to make the most of his life, he finds fresh vigour and enthusiam and becomes a hugely succesful. But suddenly Geets relatives turn up, she hasn't been seen for 9 months, so Aditya heads off to find her, promising to take her back to Bhatinda within 10 days. Aditya meets up with Anshuman who reveals that he dumped her long ago and he did not know where she had vanished to. Luckily after a song, Aditya finds Geet and prepares to take her back to Bhatinda. At this precise moment Anshuman comes to his senses and decides he wants Geet after all and being the gentleman that he is, Aditya steps aside. The three head off back to Bhatinda for the finale. Who will Geet choose? Well you would have to be a retard or someone who has never seen a Bollywood film in order to get that question wrong!

A very disappointing second half which killed the progress of a decent first half. It also showed us how ugly Kareena really is and she really needs to consider wearing a brown paper bag over her head. Shahid plays his mild mannered hero part with ease and is likeable. But the storyline was weak and the latter reels lacked in all aspects. Could have been pretty good ends up below average for me.

2 out of 5

Laaga Chunri Mein Daag

For my first review we have Laaga Chunri Mein Daag. When I saw the trailer for this I thought to myself, Rani = Prostitute = Instant Classic. How wrong I was! It turned out that Rani isn't the most convincing of hookers (or maybe that was what they were aiming for?) and apart from the see through black sari (which needed a much more prominent role) she kind of sucked as a lady of the night! Actually maybe I should be a tad careful when I use the word 'sucked' in this review due to the subject matter!

Innuendo aside here's how the story goes. Rani and sister Konkona Sen Sharma live an idealistic life in Banaras with father Anupam Kher and mother Jaya Bachchan. They may not have much money but they are happy. Unfortunately Anupam cannot provide for his family and curses the fact that he has landed with two daughters. When things take a turn for the worse, Rani takes it upon herself to be the son her father never had. She decides to head off for the bright lights of Mumbai with her fathers words that she will return a failure ringing in her ears. Rani sets off with high hopes and lands on the doorstep of a 'friend' who does nothing to help as Rani fails to land a job. Eventually Rani is introduced to some dude (his name escapes me) who is the head of a call centre. He tells Rani that she hasn't got the qualifications as a call girl (oops mind the pun!) but had other uses and that she could land the job if she spent the night with him! She walks off in disgust but later returns knowing that this is her only hope of landing a decent job. Cutting to the chase it turns out the guy is a fraud and after he uses her he tries to pay her off. She leaves distressed knowing her innocence has been stolen forever. With nothing to lose her friend trains her to become a high-class hooker! Before you know it, Rani is rolling in cash and bails her family out of financial meltdown. This then causes the bad guys (her uncle and cousin bro) to get suspicious so they begin to investigate. Meanwhile Rani meets with Abisheikh and love blossoms but before the two get together, Rani gets a phone call and vanishes.

Still with me? At the interval Rani's sister arrives in Mumbai as she has landed a job at a marketing company. Rani hides the truth from her sister as she continues her work. Meanwhile Konkona meets and falls in love with her boss. Later on Konkona's boss (Kunal Kapoor) asks for her hand in marriage whilst the bad guys find out that Rani is a hooker. Rani pays off her cousin hoping he keeps quiet but he's the bad guy! Course he's not going to keep it locked. Anyway the sister’s head back to Banaras where they prepare for the wedding when Kunal introduces his brother, none other than Abisheikh! He once again chases Rani and the love re-blossoms (can love re-blossom?) and when Abisheikh asks for Rani's hand in marriage she has a decision to make - follow her dreams and ruin her sisters marriage or sacrifice herself for her sibling. This is Bollywood so you can guess which option she took! But before the two lovers can be reunited, the bad guys show up looking to cause trouble. Luckily the two grooms step in to save the day.

So there you have it, LCMD in a nutshell.

What was good? The performances of Rani Mukherjee and Konkona Sen Sharma are superb and the two seem to have an excellent chemistry with each other. Anupam Kher and Mrs Big B also played their part. And the story was engaging even if it was a little too far fetched!

What sucked? The climax lacked any real drama and when the bad guys turned up to cause trouble, they gave up pretty easily! Other things that really bugged me were some of the portions of storyline. For instance, rather teach her English, why did Rani’s friend teach her to become a hooker? Surely she could have tried other jobs before she stooped to that level? Even though she was a lady of the night, her father forgave her instantly? No whooping to her backside? No speeches about how she killed the family’s honour?! And finally, Abisheikh knew she was a hooker but still thought she was as pure as the River Ganges? Although that might not be such a bad metaphor as part of the Ganges is so polluted the fish have 3 eyes!

Having said that, the story moved along at a decent pace and the actors made the film work. Not as bad as some would have you believe, a definite time pass flick that will keep you entertained throughout.

3 out of 5